What Not to Wear

Alison McLaughlin

| September 2, 2009

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With his realm laid to waste and royal coffers depleted, what else could the King of Burgers do but dust himself off and apply at McDonald's?

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First reports were enthusiastic, but what we thought was the first known photograph of Italy's mythical creature, the natural blonde, was soon proved a forgery.

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Llewellyn had a special skip in his step this morning. The birthday card from Nana contained enough money to splurge on some of that fancy Croatian Growacet.* *BCBusiness does not condone the traffic in or use of anabolic steroids

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When two hearts beat as one, who cares what others think? But when one eye dresses two, we're allowed to point and laugh. Those are the rules.

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When she talks to Dad about the crazy old days of art school, and you listen for it, you can hear just the slightest pinch of annoyance in his voice. That's because he paid for it.

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When there's a matinee screening of The Big Lebowski at the rec center, what kind of dude would let a few DUIs keep him away?

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Tim thought he could mask his muffin top by covering it with a smart leather vest. Tim was wrong.

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Eugene wanted to buy a bus ticket out of Fort McMurray, but, try as he might, he couldn't remember which sock he'd tucked his wallet into.

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Are deep Vs sexy? Oh yes, my friend. But only if they're so deep that they test the very fabric of society (and are complemented by naugahydek.d-langelasto-bootettes).

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Although she didn't want to cause a fuss among the plebs, Maria-Theresa was pretty sure the Hapsburg Empire hat entitled her to jump the queue for the ladies room.